Stalker Tendencies
by wolfhunter777
Summary: Solomon has a rather eccentric hobby.


Everything started with a mistake.

It was definitely a mistake, the Rookie should have ensured that there was no way that they would have been able to come back. Perhaps slicing them into many tiny pieces would have solved every single one of their future problems (except Grief, he's unrelated).

Instead, what the Rookie got was a crazy alien stalker.

The Rookie was pretty sure that having a crazy alien stalker went against the terms and conditions of his employment but could not prove it because he could not remember where he left his contract (if there was one).

It began with their first meeting.

There was a mission, a simple mission. An easy mission to make some quick cash. What happened was that the crazy immortal alien woke up.

And that was how the Rookie met Solomon.

The Rookie also maintained that it was all Johnny G's fault that this was happening to him.

Normally, as with how every first meetings went with crazy people, the Rookie beats them up and they are never to be seen again (except for the times they get put on the same mission because of the lack of manpower).

But Solomon? Solomon kept coming back. Again and again and again.

It was their third consecutive meeting when the Rookie started getting suspicious.

It was their fifth consecutive meeting when the Rookie knew that something was wrong.

It was their tenth consecutive meeting that led to the Rookie screaming in rage before punching Solomon in the face when they appeared.

Jack was rightfully frightened the first time it happened. Diablo was in awe however and begged the Rookie to train him at the end of the mission.

When Solomon appeared again (marking their twelfth consecutive meeting), the Rookie whipped out two flamethrowers and burned them. Alive.

He swapped out his flamethrowers for another two more even after Solomon had 'died'.

Five Hells sent the Rookie a recruitment notice after that encounter.

By the twenty-fifth consecutive meeting, flamethrowers and shotguns became permanent additions to the Rookie's loadout as well as a dictionary's worth of profanities.

When the thirtieth consecutive meeting came, Johnny G decided that an intervention is needed. The others disagreed with him as they watched the Rookie disintegrate Solomon with acid guns.

On the thirty-third consecutive meeting, the Rookie ripped Solomon to pieces with his hands. Literally.

Five hells, Western VII, and Panzer Crown sent their recruitment notice to the Rookie.

The Brigadier General of Bullet Works heaved a sigh of relief when he found out that the Rookie rejected every single one of them. He also reminded Guns Empress that her faction only recruited female outers, to which Guns Empress argued that there was no such rule and even if there was, she could just make the Rookie an exception.

By the thirty-fifth consecutive meeting, outers were taking bets on the most creative way that the Rookie could 'kill' Solomon. Red Dog won the bet of the most violent method when the Rookie grabbed Solomon and smashed them into the concrete before pulling their head off from the body and kicking the head to send it flying into the billboard of the arena. The Rookie then finished off by unloading his cannon onto the rest of Solomon's body at point-blank range until there was nothing left.

One day, the Rookie was called out to meet with Grief. Thinking that he would be safe from his stalker for once, the Rookie set out to the meeting point with utmost haste.

It was not meant to be.

["Come unarmed."] The message had said. And so the Rookie came with naught a weapon on his arsenal. However, what stood upon the empty grounds was not Grief but Solomon.

Grief came to the meeting point, slightly delayed due to personal reasons, just in time to see the Rookie pummel Solomon to the ground and rip them to pieces. Grief turned around and left, deciding to postpone the meeting until the Rookie was no longer likely to punch him in the middle of his monologue. Perhaps bringing his entire faction as backup would not hurt either.

As with all things, everything had to come to an end.

Correction: Everything except Solomon had to come to an end.

Everyone had spontaneously decided to celebrate Grief's defeat and the world being saved (sort of), they decided to have ice cream at the Rookie's hanger.

The Rookie had to be physically restrained by five people to stop him from strangling Solomon when Solomon appeared with two ice cream cones in their hands.


End file.
